Blindsight

Written by Daniel Stad

Everybody knows and loves the blindsight we have today, but do all these adoring fans know the true story of the band? Yes. But at the same time, no. Theres a metaphor in that, try to figure it out yourself.

Anyways, they became a band way back in the day when yall shorties had to put your hat in your sleeve. YA HEARD? Blindsight has gone through many stages in its evolution as a spiritual force and entertainment/ mind control device. There were the zany days of grade 7 when Singer listened to metal, everybody hadnt hit puberty and nobody had got domed yet except fischer. Later on, Micah got domed. By Singer. Next were the sleazy days of the moneymaking phase (ya, that rhymed bitch, thanks RHYMEZONE.COM!). These troubled times saw members of the band reduced to such pitiful lows as sleeping on the street, jerking each other off and tapping Chiara.

This short-lived period was also signaled by extreme extortion, thievery and money laundering performed by members of the band, but at least it was better than the shitshow we have come to know as the hiatus.? Many reasons have been cited for this hault in the bands antics, but the prevailing reason was definitely Singer doing mad shrooms and losing it for a bit. Marlon used this period to explore himself and became a reformed Buddhist. Later on, he shamed his religion in a banana split eating contest and was kicked out of the religion. Yes, they do do that.

Anyways, they were all falling apart and they knew it was time for a saviour. They auditioned several lead singers, including the incredibly handsome South P, whos vocal stylings were so beautiful the band knew they could not work with him because every time he sang their hearts broke into a million pieces and doves of light flew all over the place, and Micahs mom was not down with that. Always ones to accept a silver medal, they continued testing out new singers, and ended up finding the very OK Mookie Morris. Morris stee was so good that everybody started dancing and singing like James Brown was the priest at a church in the Blues Brothers which i just watched a bit ago and enjoyed.

Mookies great singing, guitar playing and stylish pant- wearing, coupled with South Ps stellar crunkeness and tambourine playing, propelled the group of nobodies into superstardom, making them one of the greatest bands ever, second only to Panic! at the disco. ON second thought, those guys are douches and fags and emo fags and blindisght is better than them (and I also heard Panic! at the disco are gay fags as well).